Zee's diary: My Challenge

Right before him, I stood staring in bemusement as his lips moved. "You're a failure and nothing good can come from you", I heard him say. I was surprised at these words because I never expected such from him. I was dumbfounded and lost while he said the remaining of his heart rending words. When he was satisfied, he stormed out of the room like one who had suddenly run mad. My lost eyes followed him as his frail, slender body found it's way through the dimly lit room.

I sat on the bed and those words reechoed in my ears and head. I covered my ears with my palms in a bid to stop hearing those words in his thick voice, but I still heard them loud and clear. 

He was my best friend from university. We had things going very well between us until he decided to turn the good friendship into a relationship. I always had the mindset that friendship gets ruined whenever it's converted into a romantic relationship. I guess I was foolish; look at me now, 25, successful and single. I've never had such relationship Sukanmi and I had ever again. It felt like he was the one the universe sent to be my comfort for life and I pushed him away. I was angry at myself for declining his request but now I think I know better. If at all what he had and felt for me was genuine, he wouldn't have used such words on me.

I low key miss him though; our school days, club nights, dinner nights, random dates. We related like lovers; maybe that was our souls communicating and making decisions without our individual consent; or maybe Sukanmi consented to his soul's decision to be with mine but I wasn't getting the hint. It would've been a smooth and happy ride if we ended up together; so much smiles and memories to share. Being best friends and starting a relationship would've been the best thing ever. Well, things went as they did and there's nothing I could do about it. Maybe we weren't meant to be a thing and the universe only played out. Maybe. Just maybe.