One-sided Relationships.

 

Have you ever loved someone and at the end of the day, you realize the feeling is not mutual? Worse off, he/she pretends for a moment that you are the best thing after sliced bread, but at the end you realize that you're all alone in the ship? It is a very terrible situation, I must say. Not getting back the same energy you give can be very discouraging. Your efforts are in vain. You're literally watering dead flowers, unknowingly. 

The pain of unrequited love is not far fetched. It pierces the heart like a sharp, burning knife. The pain is worse when you have invested a lot into that relationship. This leads to a state of melancholy. You wouldn't be getting back your sleepless nights, money and time. You literally have to move on with your life like nothing serious happened. You have to act like you're okay, when deep down, all you want is for that person to come to the realization that their love means a lot to you, and show it.

Some have been in situations where they have had to beg the other person to love them back, they have had to beg for crumbs when they could have the whole loaf if they wanted.

The fact that you beg for the barest minimum when you actually deserve better is enough to make one wake up by 3am at midnight to cry.

No one deserves to be treated in a manner that makes them question their self worth and sanity. Yes, the question of "am I not enough?" pops up in the heads of every victim of unrequited love.

"How dare you not love me back?" Well, I have the answer for you. Yes, you are enough.

It is not entirely your fault that you have so much love in your heart to give and the person your heart chose doesn't want you. It is not your fault that the universe doesn't want you to be with that person. 

But it's your fault when you go on with a person, knowing full well that the feeling isn't mutual, and with fake hopes that things would turn out better.

It may turn out good, congratulations, but what if it doesn't? You come out with a shattered heart and buckets of tears.

Pointers to know you're sailing the ship alone.

There are signs we all see whenever things happen. Whenever the rain is about to fall, it sends the wind to alert us about it's arrival.

There are things that would happen in your relationship, and you just know it is gone, and there is no use trying to patch things.

1. Everything becomes one-sided.

At this point, you'd realize that you're the only participating party in this relationship, which is not supposed to be so. You're a team and the effort should be equal. When you realize you are doing more than the other person is, then that's a red flag.

The once hyped up energy suddenly sinks. Your conversations no longer excite either of you anymore. It just feels like the tag is a burden to the other person and they can't wait for the ship to sink so that you can go separate ways.

2. The  adrenaline rush disappears.

You know, there's this feeling we get whenever we talk to someone we love. We get that feeling when we're deep in love with somebody. Some describe it as the feeling of butterflies in the stomach.(Some is me) 

Well, that's a hormone at work.

Whenever you and your supposed partner have conversations and you don't just "vibe" anymore, then that's a pointer.  You just realize that everything suddenly dies. The once great communication becomes so poor that you talk to the internet more than you talk to your partner. That's no coincidence. He/She has begun to feel less than they used to for you.

3. Obvious loss of interest.

You know what they say about not having interest in something? Yes, you have no interest in them, so you ignore them. 

A person who no longer loves you, or never loved you, to start with, would make flimsy excuses for any and everything they deliberately do. Things as little as not texting back, especially when they're online, not returning your calls which they deliberately ignored are signs that it's over. How does someone claim to love you, yet they think it's cool to ignore you? That's definitely not love. In as much as this sign sounds petty, it is a sign that many people overlook simply because they're giving the other person the benefit of doubt.

Disclaimer: It is important that we give people the benefit of doubt sometimes. It is one of the factors that strengthens any form of relationship.

However, your benefit of doubt becomes foolishness when this show of nonchalance goes on for too long.

4. Flimsy excuses.

A person that doesn't love you anymore would give you one thousand and one reasons why he/she treats you in the way they do.

They give excuses for not checking up on you for the whole week. They give you excuses for not being able to hang out with you all the time.

They give excuses for choosing others over you.

In short, you are in a relationship of excuses because that's all you get. 

5. Picking fights over irrelevant issues.

When someone is no longer interested in you, they would look out for every possible way to make you feel less than yourself. 

If normally, he/she doesn't bother about the way you dress, it would suddenly become an issue to them. They become a shadow of themselves. They pick up fights with you whenever the opportunity pops up, even when it isn't necessary.

They know some things are better off overlooked, but because they don't feel what you feel for them anymore, they go on and pick up fights, so much that you get tired and decide to quit.

    These signs vary from relationship to relationship, so they may just be as basic to some people, but putting critical thinking into practice, you would realize that it's these barest minimum that actually make the difference.

If a person loves you, they won't ignore you. They would find ways to show you that they are caught up in a lot at the moment and never make you doubt what you share.

     If you ever have an iota of doubt in your heart, talk to the person about it. This is in order to avoid premature evaluation of the situation. You're a team, and you should talk about it first. 

If after talking about it, you still feel that doubt in your heart and still have that strange gut feeling, then that's the universe telling you it's time to quit.

You don't have to wait till you're shattered before you leave. 

      One thing so many people fail to understand is that people are selfish. Human beings generally are selfish. They would think of themselves before they think of you, and that's why instead of telling the other person that they are tired of the relationship, they would rather you figure that out by yourself.

What I'm trying to say in essence is that you don't always need closure.

If you feel like that relationship has crossed the level of toxicity than you can handle, and now stands as a threat to your peace of mind, then it's time to leave.

You don't have to wait till they come out clear to say they are no longer interested.

Remember that you were once a jolly human when you met them. They shouldn't be the reason why you don't have interest in doing the fun things you cherish doing. They shouldn't be the reason you sit up all night and cry your eyes out. They shouldn't be the reason why your zeal to do anything is dead. 

Once the relationship feels like a threat to your happiness, once it interferes with your life activities and makes you feel obsolete, then that's a sign for you to leave.

Yes, walk through the exit door and never look back.

Thank you for sticking with me through this long ass article. Phew! I hope you loved it. Please leave a comment using the box down there👇 and also, subscribe to my blog so you get to be among the first set of people who get notified when I post new content. Bye for now.